So I had this encounter with a young far right person
I have a history with hypervigilance. So I'm pretty aware of most things happening around me. It's less intense now than it was a few years ago, cause I worked on my trauma. But it's still present and not much goes unnoticed. Sometimes it leads to… let's say "interesting" interactions. Like the one I'm about to talk about.
So we're walking with a partner in the street. And a guy just says "vive le Rassemblement National" which translates more or less to "glory to the National Rally (NR)". National Rally is a far right political party founded by literal nazis and member of the SS after WW2. It wasn't directed at us, I don't thing, but right then and there, I was questioning whether it was. We can be identified as trans or lesbian or both… "Gender not normal" in any case.
So I looked at him. I had no intentions whatsoever at first, wasn't sure what to say or do. And while I was processing, he saw me look at him and provoked me with something like "yeah that's right". Definitely not a good day for that my guy… Went up to him and started an argument immediately that he shouldn't provoke me like that and that it is absolutely inacceptable to say what he said.
He was visibly uncomfortable though trying to put on a brave face. Clearly he wasn't expecting anything to happen or anyone to react. You know, the sort of embarrassment you have when you say something private out loud to yourself and suddenly realise there was someone behind you withing earshot. His friend said "no he was talking to me". Clear attempt to protect his friends. I know this strategy, I've used it, not gonna fly with me. Makes me think he was pretty young, 20yo tops, maybe even barely 18yo (he was driving though so necessarily 17yo at minimum).
The argument went on for a few minutes, not much longer. He invoked "freedom of speech". To which I answered that fascists don't have freedom of speech. He was chocked (or pretended to be) that I called the NR fascists since they are a "political party". Of course I said that made no difference and he better learn, fast, that they are fascists. Also threatened him of violence for saying what he said out loud, that he was either joking or in danger. He wasn't scary for me at the time and though I am not prone to violence1, in this day and age, you better scare me pretty good if you wanna say stuff like that in public, or I'm gonna get in your face and fucking yell at you and make trouble. After a few sentences he then threatened violence against me and made a transphobic remark about my partner. I let the insult slide (cause otherwise something in me wanted to escalate the conflict further but that would have been a bad move in this case). But I did pushback on the threat of violence, he was trying to be impressive and scare me and I didn't want him to think it was working. He also mentioned he had a weapon in his car, probably a telescopic baton by the words he used. This is an illegal weapon to possess in France and a classic one to have in far right and fascist circles. They advertise for it a lot.
All in all, nothing major (in my perspective). But yeah, it was clear to me that he's a young radicalised person that doesn't realise what it means to be far right and a fascist supporter. Someone later on linked his attitude to the radicalisation of young men by the likes of Andrew Tate, Tibo InShape, Papacito and other far right pundits. My goal was to show by example that being far right is not safe in public space. That people will call you out and won't let you say whatever fascist thing you want. I'd rather him not be far right, but if he is, if anyone is, they keep that shit at home and private. Those assholes need to learn shame again.
Don't want to over blow it, it wasn't much, even feeling it was a duty to do something. Not saying I'm right, just that it is how I lived this. But still, I'm pretty proud of that one. I usually leave this kind of interaction pretty scared of what will happen in the next few days, what if he finds me back or something. There was almost none of that this time. Of course I thought about it and still am a bit – like I'm writing this text right? – but I feel safe. He's not dangerous as is, I don't think. And if he is? Well, that's that, I don't want to regret or anything. Plus the chance of me to ever seeing him again are slim. And he'd have to recognize me. Though considering how I look generally, I am a lot more memorable than he is (random white guy with white guy style… bland as fuck).
Something I'm not proud of: I acted very swiftly and had no chance to consult my partner whether they were ok with me getting in the face of that guy like that. My action was a risk and I dragged them into it with no prior consent. Of course we talked about it afterward and they said it was ok. Also, it's the second time we are both present for a conflict in the street. Last time was a kid getting bullied and assaulted. Then we had time to agree to go and take him out of there (my partner was much more pro-active than me on that one). Regarding the encounter I just described and talked about, I want to give 'em a shout-out: their presence was definitely a support. The fact that they were by my side was a huge help. I was supported, I had a partner and a comrade by my side and that definitely helped. Also, I'm confident they would have said something or touched me in a specific way if they had needed me to act differently, turn it down or something.
Anyway. I'm not sure why I'm telling the story publicly. In part, it's because I'm insecure about what I do in life and I want to show that sometimes I'm active and trying something to resist. But also to show the full spectrum of emotions and stakes that goes through me. Hoping it will help people that don't feel brave enough or up to that kind of behaviour. Trying to curb the virilist narrative I have seen in anarchist and antifascist circles I've been in. It is difficult, it is scary and it is messy.
- In fact I said multiple times that I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of violence even against literal fascists ↩︎